It Is Not a Luxury to move before a crisis gives you “permission”

Something about the way we live has been bothering me for a while.

Not one dramatic thing. Just a pattern I keep seeing everywhere. In conversations, in coaching sessions, in friends, in myself sometimes.

We wait.

We wait until things fall apart before we give ourselves permission to change anything.

A body breaks down before we start listening to it.

A relationship explodes before we dare to say what’s actually going on. Work drains us to the point of burnout before we admit something needs to shift.

And even then, the change often comes with panic about money, security, or what people will think. As if wanting something better is only allowed once everything is already on fire.

But what if nothing is technically wrong? What if your life looks fine from the outside, yet something in you quietly knows it could be more alive?

More energy in your body when you wake up. More fun and meaning in the work you do every day. More money left at the end of the month without grinding yourself into exhaustion. More harmony, more spark, more ease in your relationship.

Why does even wanting that sometimes feel almost… illegal?

Part of it is conditioning. Problem-thinking runs deep in us. Scarcity is the water many of us grew up swimming in. Especially here in the Netherlands, with its deep-rooted Calvinist undertone: don’t complain, don’t stand out, don’t want too much, don’t think too highly of yourself.

Rest and joy are things you earn. Preferably after suffering first. Or after working very, very hard on yourself in every possible healing modality available.

Honestly, I’m done with that story.

And I’m not interested in replacing it with another fantasy either. I’m not here to promise you effortless success or hand you a neat ten-step plan to magically shift your mindset.

I’m interested in something much more direct, and often much more confronting: asking yourself what you actually want.

Not the sensible answer. Not the socially acceptable one. The real one.

Because there’s a question we almost never ask ourselves, and yet it sits right under the surface:

What is it costing me if I don’t move?

What does it cost to stay in a life that technically works but quietly numbs you? To keep second-guessing yourself while telling yourself you should just be grateful? To wait for a crisis so you finally have a valid reason to collapse and let go?

Most people don’t even know what they want anymore. Not because they’re incapable, but because they were never taught to look in that direction. From a young age, we learn to colour neatly inside the lines. To be good. To be reasonable. To fit.

And then, years later, we wonder why we feel stuck.

I do believe you can step into another version of yourself. Not by pretending your life is different, and not by bypassing reality. But by first getting radically honest about what you want, right now.

And by remembering that you are far bigger than the version of you that learned to play small. That inside this human bodysuit is something with far more potential than you were ever encouraged to use.

This is the work I love.

And it might surprise you, but I’m not interested in endlessly analysing your past. Your stories matter, of course, but they don’t get the microphone in my space. Spending months explaining why things won’t work rarely moves anyone forward.

What matters to me is the present moment.

What do you feel now?
What wants to move?
Where do you want to go?

And then we start moving. Immediately.

Sometimes the steps are small, just enough to get things rolling. Sometimes they’re bold. But they’re real, and they belong to you.

I want you dreaming beyond the version of yourself that learned to stay reasonable and small. Dreaming big doesn’t make you arrogant, selfish, or less loving. You can want more and still be a deeply kind, grounded human being. Those things don’t cancel each other out.

Working with me isn’t a luxury layer you add once everything else in your life is already perfect. More often, it’s what keeps things from having to blow up first.

For people who feel that itch but don’t need fixing, I am here.

No crisis required. No endless overthinking. No drama.

And if something in you feels slightly uncomfortable reading this, good. That discomfort is often where truth begins to move.

Maybe this is your moment to stop waiting for things to fall apart before you allow yourself to choose differently.

Give yourself permission. You know where to find me.

Love, Annemarijn